Love: The Beautiful Prize

Are you more comfortable giving love than receiving it? Do you resist love from others? Why? Could it be that we don’t feel worthy, or we’re worried it will have strings attached, or maybe we’re hesitant to give love in return? We say we love God, and we sing about His love for us, but is it possible we’re misunderstanding love altogether?

Impossible Expectations?

Let's dive a little deeper to get a clearer understanding of love from different perspectives.

In scripture, 1 Corinthians 13 (also known as the ‘Love Chapter’) describes love as ‘the beautiful prize’:

“My understanding is incomplete now, but one day I will understand everything, just as everything about me has been fully understood. Until then, there are three things that remain: faith, hope, and love—yet love surpasses them all. So above all else, let love be the beautiful prize for which you run.” I Corinthians 13:12b-13

And here are some thoughts on love by Christian thinkers and writers:

“Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” ~C.S. Lewis, 'The Four Loves'

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is…what we need more than anything.” ~Tim Keller, 'The Meaning of Marriage'

“Love is the highest aim of the apprentice of Jesus. All of our practices are meant to form us into people of love.” ~John Mark Comer

”To love someone is to reveal to them their beauty, their worth and their importance.” ~Henri Nouwen

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.” ~Thomas Merton

“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow…a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them.” ~Brené Brown

“Love always contends for the highest possible good in every situation and relentlessly contends until it’s a present-day reality.” ~Kevin Weaver, 'ReOrient'

Wow. How can we have this kind of love for one another? If we’re honest with ourselves, this probably feels like an impossible expectation. 

And yet in John 13:34-35, Jesus says,

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

And in Matthew 5:43-45, He says,  

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

If you’re like me, you might be thinking, What gives, God? I can barely love my own spouse like this! You want me to love everyone? Even my enemies? WHAT?!

If you feel this way when you hear these verses, you are not alone. Maybe that’s why we don’t have “How to Love” Sunday school classes and “Love Like Jesus” workshops advertised at every church in town. We struggle to believe that loving like Jesus is even possible. And I think that’s because we still believe that we have to DO something in order to be loved by God. We still think we have to earn it, perform for it, qualify for it. Some part of us still believes God’s love is conditional. 

No wonder we struggle to love! We’re operating under a completely erroneous understanding of who God is, believing that He gives and withholds His love based on what we do, say, or even think.

A Prize We Didn't Win

But the opposite is true. God doesn’t limit His love because God IS love. Love is His very nature, His true essence, His being. He created you in love, from love, and with love, and He will always love you.

You didn’t do anything to earn His love and you can’t do anything to make Him love you any more, or any less. You always have (eternally) all His love (infinitely). God's love isn't a prize you win because of anything you do. It's a gift. You just have to receive it.

This is the first step to loving like Jesus - knowing and understanding Him and the nature of His love.

Let’s look at I John 4:7-8  in the Passion Translation:

“Those who are loved by God, let his love continually pour from you to one another, because God is love. Everyone who loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him. The one who doesn’t love has yet to know God, for God is love.” 

Who has love that “pours from” them? 

Those who are loved by God.

Those who are fathered by God.

Those who experience an intimate knowledge of God.

To love as Jesus loved us, we have to know – really know - God. We have to know Him intimately and experience His love.

The beauty of the Holy Trinity is that God exists in three persons, so that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are unceasingly giving love and receiving love from one another. This is a love fest! A beautiful gift of love between the persons of the Godhead. 

That same unceasing love that flows between the persons of the Trinity flows to us. And God longs for us to join that love fest! 

In John 17, Jesus prays to the Father, expressing His deep desire that we “would be one, just as you are in me, and I am in you… I in them and you in me so that they may be brought to complete unity” so that we would be in unity, in Union.”

How does this happen? 

Just like the gift of salvation, God’s love poured out to the world when He sent Jesus to save us from sin and death. It is flowing to us today and all we have to do is receive it. And it is a continual receiving. It is the continual “abiding” Jesus speaks of in John 15:9 when He says, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. ABIDE IN MY LOVE.” 

If you cringe at the idea of loving someone who you don’t agree with, if you struggle to forgive and show kindness to those who are unkind, you might also have a hard time receiving God’s love. His love in us is evidenced by our love for others. This can be a hard thing to admit to ourselves but once we can say, “I suck at love!” then we are ready for the remedy.

The remedy is simple: to abide in God and receive His love.

But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy!

You might be hesitant, even fearful. You’ve been hurt by love (or what you thought was love) before. Or perhaps in your experience, there have always been conditions on love, a price to pay, a trick that proves too good to be true. That is often how it is with love in this broken world. 

But God’s love is different. God’s love doesn’t hurt, it heals. God’s love has no conditions because love is WHO GOD IS. He just loves you. All of you. All the time. Period. God’s love isn’t too good to be true. It is good. And true. Like a clear spring of pure water - He is the Source and the Supply. 

Picture a beautiful waterfall - maybe Multnomah Falls in Oregon or Yellowstone Falls in Wyoming, or even Kent Falls in Connecticut. Now picture yourself standing at the bottom of the falls - not the top of the falls - God is the top of the falls. Maybe you’re standing under the falling water, arms wide, soaking wet. Or maybe the falls are so strong, you’re swimming in the pool at its base. Wherever you imagine yourself to be, welcome the water as if it’s God’s love. Feel it wash over your head, your hands, your back, your feet. You can’t make it flow faster. You can’t capture it. You can only welcome it. 

We can’t muster up love, we must receive it. And we have to let his love fall over us, and flow through us, in order to be able to love others. 

Simple Beginnings to Experience God's Love

Set aside some time in the next few days to sit with your Heavenly Father and ask Him to allow you to experience His love. Let him have access to your heart, mind, and senses, even your imagination. Tell Him you want to love more. Ask him to help you receive His love. If you feel like something's holding you back, ask Him what it is. Even if this is difficult and you don’t feel like you can fully receive, ask him to bypass some of that and give you even just a taste of His love, enough to give you strength, and a renewed passion to know His heart for you and for others.

If you find yourself really struggling to connect with God’s love, reach out to us or someone you know whose life exudes the love of God. Ask for help. That’s what the body of Christ is here for. 

Living in love and from love is the lifelong pursuit of those who follow Jesus. And because He is faithful, one day His love will freely and naturally flow in and through us to others.

This is the Beautiful Prize that He has already won for us: LOVE! There’s no prize more beautiful than this. We receive this prize from our Father for ourselves and then we give the prize of His love to others. 

It’s what we all want. 

Take it! 

It’s yours!

Then let it flow through you to others!